The reason for last few days' worth of madness had been a simple case of misappropriation of priorities. Oh, I don't blame myself. It is easy to get swept away when the tide is flowing only one way.
Truth is, that sometimes, we underrate ourselves too much. It's okay to set high goals, infact the higher the better. Just dont kill yourself trying to get that high. It is evidently, not worth it.
So what? I get a first-class degree, an education with some of the best names in the country and/or the world, a high-paying job, blah blah. Surely that cannot be it? It could be, if you are not willing to look beyond it. And in that case, all the best. I am sure you will be very happy.
What I received in all that restriction, was severe denial. Some things are so simple, you wonder why you dont know it. Its not about that vision, or any vision. Its about you. You make the vision, you break it, live it, decorate it or dismiss it.
Life so far has been spent in searching for inspiration. It isnt that elusive. I have spotted it in words, in mu
sic, in pictures, in colours, in dreams. Spotted a hint, a promise of something more. Maybe your inspiration lies in a plush corner office, in a small house by the sea, in your leatherbound diary. Truth is, you wont know unless you go look for it. Its one of those things that wont come looking for you.Dont promise a road for yourself and then expect you dreams to fall in place. It doesnt work that way, even though uptil the last moment, i thought it did. And though this might seem like a last minute bubble of optimism, it isnt really.
I realize, that I can always travel and always read. That i can always meet new people who are like me, or unlike me, and i can still have thought-provoking conversation. That i can always watch films and make plays, learn pottery and listen to music. That there will always be lessons to learn, and I dont need classrooms for that. I dont need to to well because that is what one must do, as long as I am happy and learning something new each day.
After all it is literature, it's theatre, it's poetry, stories, books. It's life and it is limitless. I am not giving it up, because that is not even an option. Its a part of my being. It doesnt matter if i go on to become a nuclear physicist or a banker, it shall be there, in me, as me.
Maybe I wont find inspiration in my work. Maybe i will. Maybe i'll find it in a wayward conversation, in "one of those mad, insane moments of life". Maybe in my sleep or while taking a walk. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. Maybe right now. Maybe where i'm going next, or maybe when i'm 40 at a cafe, solving sudoku puzzles.
I haven't given up on it, yet. It wont let me. Cheers to the dream, and to the last 10 years, especially the last three. And thank you. It wont be the last.
3 comments:
oh yay - that's the kind of attitude I always had, and am slowly starting to shed. For me, it's not so much about the dream anymore, it's about perspective. Life is happy or sad or uncategorizable(?) only if you wish it to be or not be (ooh, little WS moment there). But it's more about living in the moment, and not in some vague, glittery larger than life space 2 3 4 5 or 10 years away. But I like the positivity. Really do. :)
"Dont promise a road for yourself and then expect you dreams to fall in place"....thats what happened to me a couple of days back...and i do realize how true it is now!!!
and at 40,u'd probably be paying around with a Sony playstation!!!
physicist or a banker...har har!!
quote of the day
"Just dont kill yourself trying to get that high."
it is worth it luv......that lil moment of joy...that tiny moment of wightlessness......no boundaries
who am i kiddin......but it is worth it..... don worry one things for sure you'll never get bored with this so called existance...either you'll be too worried..too sad.....and alas too happy........i just hope our life has meaning!
Post a Comment