Saturday, September 01, 2007

If i could, i swear I'd try writing a little everyday. Maybe just a paragraph or something. Its a part of me I try to remain in touch with. I mean, how difficult can it be? I've been writing for as long as i can remember. The queen of the not-passers, that was me, yes.
The thing is, when i write, I can hear myself think. Its very soft nowadays, very very soft, but its there nevertheless, and I do hear it. When I don't...theres just an uncomfortable silence. And thats not very nice. Silence with other people I can handle. And you know why? Because there are more than ten thousand voices in my head all the time, some talking, some laughing, some being mean, some cribbing, and some waiting for their turn to talk. And I can only hear them best when i write. Or sit down, pretending to write. Like now.
Its unsettling not being able to hear my own voice. To hear myself think. And thats why i try to write. In marketing classes, in boring journalism lectures, in whatever. I try to scribble random lines that sound beautiful and mean nothing. Its just a small way of keeping in touch.
Therefor, it is important that you dont take this blog post seriously. Or anything I say, write or feel seriously. I'm just doing it for practice so that I dont go deaf and empty. Like I'm likely to go very soon.

Silence. Painful. Painful.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

hey just stopped by to say hi...i really like how you write.. it actually compelled me to go on and read all your posts... readin blogs like yours makes me wanna write...and thats a really commendable thing considerin how super lazy i am..so cheers to that...keep writin..ive bookmarked this page...

~Moo-lah Buz!nezzz~ said...

...aah!..i know about that unconfortable silence!!!...it so happens to me!!!its creepy but it helps!!!..
and u could try yoga for not turning deaf.they say it helps.Never worked with me tho.

Random Doodler said...

@priya: Hi back. Thanks for dropping by. I cant seem to reach your blog. Would love to read. Do send me the link.
cheers :)

@Moo-lah: I'm too lazy for anything and everything. And dont give me suggestions that dont work.
Stupid.

coffee stain said...

i don understand women....when the voices in your head stop, don't that mean one is at peace with one's self?!
aami to voices gulo ke stop korar jonno desperate....... but when that happens my mouth won't keep shut! living alone is a sin! but then there are times i love it!

Random Doodler said...

@coffee stain: Nothing even remotely male female about this.
And i'd give a lot to stay alone. A Lot.