Connecting People

Lately I've managed to be with a lot of people who i know, but am unable to 'connect' with. I'm not sure what i mean by connect though-maybe, having a meaningful conversation, or taking a walk, or fingerpainting, or even a look or something. But not on my own...with someone. Anyone. Its like i've fallen out of touch with people that I meet or talk to everyday. And thats a pretty scary thought.
The thing is (as i've often been told) that i must have quality time everyday. Its a necessity...like food or something. There has to be atleast one incident everyday that i'll feel happy or atleast sad about. I dont know...maybe sing songs together, make a mess, get yelled at. Its just feeling a lot more lonely being me these days. Even the voices in my head have left i believe. You simply cant trust anyone these days.
How do you connect or re-connect with people? Its so important that i think i must know it. I cant even connect with my own thoughts. I meant to write somethin meaningful (there's that word again!) but it all turned out to be stupid and blahh!
I received a mail today that made me very happy and very sad.So i smiled and cried at the same time. Its very important to cry sometimes, even if its only behind closed doors, or loos, or whatever. You sort of get to connect with yourself.
I also made someone cry today. Which sort of makes me mean, but it helped to clear the air. Eventually however, i didnt get to 'connect'. Which brings us back to the top again.
Is it possible to fall out of love at the same time that you are in love? And can you really distinguish between the two?
I tried to write something today. And i couldnt. It requires too much effort. And that is one thing i'm lately very unwilling to put in. Everything.
I saw a few old photographs today. I wasnt very happy those days. But in them it looks as though i was. Maybe i just pose really well. Maybe i smile too much. Its very easy...only one muscle or something. Lately its been gettin a little too stretched.
I want to act out Lady Macbeths role. I want to say out those lines...that i sort of know the meaning of now. Wonder how it feels to be that evil? Holily evil? i had a feeling if she were real, I'd support her cause now. Whatever it might be.
I want to hug Boomba and go to sleep. But he's in Bombay...and right now thats too far away.