Lately I've managed to be with a lot of people who i know, but am unable to 'connect' with. I'm not sure what i mean by connect though-maybe, having a meaningful conversation, or taking a walk, or fingerpainting, or even a look or something. But not on my own...with someone. Anyone. Its like i've fallen out of touch with people that I meet or talk to everyday. And thats a pretty scary thought.
The thing is (as i've often been told) that i must have quality time everyday. Its a necessity...like food or something. There has to be atleast one incident everyday that i'll feel happy or atleast sad about. I dont know...maybe sing songs together, make a mess, get yelled at. Its just feeling a lot more lonely being me these days. Even the voices in my head have left i believe. You simply cant trust anyone these days.
How do you connect or re-connect with people? Its so important that i think i must know it. I cant even connect with my own thoughts. I meant to write somethin meaningful (there's that word again!) but it all turned out to be stupid and blahh!
I received a mail today that made me very happy and very sad.So i smiled and cried at the same time. Its very important to cry sometimes, even if its only behind closed doors, or loos, or whatever. You sort of get to connect with yourself.
I also made someone cry today. Which sort of makes me mean, but it helped to clear the air. Eventually however, i didnt get to 'connect'. Which brings us back to the top again.
Is it possible to fall out of love at the same time that you are in love? And can you really distinguish between the two?
I tried to write something today. And i couldnt. It requires too much effort. And that is one thing i'm lately very unwilling to put in. Everything.
I saw a few old photographs today. I wasnt very happy those days. But in them it looks as though i was. Maybe i just pose really well. Maybe i smile too much. Its very easy...only one muscle or something. Lately its been gettin a little too stretched.
I want to act out Lady Macbeths role. I want to say out those lines...that i sort of know the meaning of now. Wonder how it feels to be that evil? Holily evil? i had a feeling if she were real, I'd support her cause now. Whatever it might be.
I want to hug Boomba and go to sleep. But he's in Bombay...and right now thats too far away.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
No Cheers...No Beers!
Oh boy, i was freakin out of my senses last evening!! It was bad/good/ummm... i dont know! Its like u dont have a clue as to whats happening around you. And its bloody demoralizing having to depend on somebody to even take a few steps properly! and that lady at the coffe shop must've thought i was going to die. Hell, i thought i was going to die!!And i slept for 13 hrs straight...except once in the middle when i woke up to throw out stuff frm my body (again)...stuff...i dint even knw i had eaten at any time.And most of you all dont know what i'm talkin about but most of you can guess...so i will shut up now.
Well we gave our seniors their farewell today (okbye!) And it was all rather good, they really enjoyed it (sniff!sniff!) I guess i would feel a little sad when we get our farewell.i mean...college is not a bad place really. Nah, its quite ok!
I'm too bored to write. Its a dry spell....believe me! And its not going!!!
Well we gave our seniors their farewell today (okbye!) And it was all rather good, they really enjoyed it (sniff!sniff!) I guess i would feel a little sad when we get our farewell.i mean...college is not a bad place really. Nah, its quite ok!
I'm too bored to write. Its a dry spell....believe me! And its not going!!!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Oh this and that....
I met an old friend today. And we sorted a few things out, within some very short time. And discovered that we were'nt so bad after all.And that somethings should be talked about and shared. And that somethngs are best left unsaid. And that you feel much closer to a person after you've fought. And that some bonds remain over time and distance. And that i'm talking too much and am in danger of letting too much spill.
Sometimes you wish some things would remain constant.Never change, never move, never get over, never begin, never leave,never die.
Love should be uncomplicated. After all its only hormones.Lust shouldnt be mixed up with love.Lust should be lived not endured. Nothing should be endured. Except life. Life has to be endured. And made liveable. And once its made liveable it should be left.
i'm really talking all rubbish. i should sleep.
Sometimes you wish some things would remain constant.Never change, never move, never get over, never begin, never leave,never die.
Love should be uncomplicated. After all its only hormones.Lust shouldnt be mixed up with love.Lust should be lived not endured. Nothing should be endured. Except life. Life has to be endured. And made liveable. And once its made liveable it should be left.
i'm really talking all rubbish. i should sleep.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
u see...?...u dont...?
I saw 15,Park Avenue today.And i was impressed, very impressed.I thought that was brilliant story-telling.Konkona was simply fabulous.Thats the National Award in her bag this year.dont u just love the way she 'acts' so normal?No theatrics at all.Just perfect.Especially coz its a sort of role where theres a lot of chance of going overboard.The film was mainly her and Shabana.Rest of the roles were pretty sidee.Rahul Bose was a little sad.Perhaps one expected too much.He was quite...i dont know....passive somehow.I really like the doctor-Dhritiman.He was good too.
A certain scene in the film made me think-about realities and how it differs from person to person.A schizophrenic (did i get it right?) has his/her own version of reality, which we who are normal(?) call delusions.Just because we dont see it that way.But she does, and does so very clearly.Who then are we to tell her that the thing she sees so absolutely is in reality, not there at all.How can we be so sure?Just because we dont see it?What if she is the normal one and we are the ones who are deprived of the sight of whatever it is that we can see?
Its a completely different world that they live in, these people.And i also agree that its dangerous, and needs to be treated.But i think a cure itself can be tragic for such a person.Imagine being told that all that you thought to be true, that you thought to be real, is actually not.Imagine the loneliness, the helplessness. being stranded in a completely new 'cured' world where they dont know anyone, and cant even find anyone they know because they have just been told that it doesnt exist.What could be more tragic than discovering, that your entire life as you had lived it so far was actually a figment of your imagination? What then would be the purpose of being cured? Perhaps its best to let such people be as they are, unless it gets life-threatening. Recognize them as special, different and privileged people with the power to see beyond what the ordinary person can. The little while that they live, they should be allowed to live like everyone and not have their entire past and present wiped out or be proved null and void.I dont think anyone deserves something quite as traumatic as that.
A certain scene in the film made me think-about realities and how it differs from person to person.A schizophrenic (did i get it right?) has his/her own version of reality, which we who are normal(?) call delusions.Just because we dont see it that way.But she does, and does so very clearly.Who then are we to tell her that the thing she sees so absolutely is in reality, not there at all.How can we be so sure?Just because we dont see it?What if she is the normal one and we are the ones who are deprived of the sight of whatever it is that we can see?
Its a completely different world that they live in, these people.And i also agree that its dangerous, and needs to be treated.But i think a cure itself can be tragic for such a person.Imagine being told that all that you thought to be true, that you thought to be real, is actually not.Imagine the loneliness, the helplessness. being stranded in a completely new 'cured' world where they dont know anyone, and cant even find anyone they know because they have just been told that it doesnt exist.What could be more tragic than discovering, that your entire life as you had lived it so far was actually a figment of your imagination? What then would be the purpose of being cured? Perhaps its best to let such people be as they are, unless it gets life-threatening. Recognize them as special, different and privileged people with the power to see beyond what the ordinary person can. The little while that they live, they should be allowed to live like everyone and not have their entire past and present wiped out or be proved null and void.I dont think anyone deserves something quite as traumatic as that.
Moi...
Ummm...thats a very sad and unclear picture of me that i took myself when i had nothin to do, and just happened to find a cam in the vicinity!!!
I wish i knew how to make it black-n-white.Can u do it with Microsoft Editor? Or do u need a software or sumthin?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
BLUE TINTED GLASS
The world whizzed past
Outside the blue-tinted glass.
Inside, the waiters gossiped
And haggled over tips.
The clatter of empty coffee cups
And the smell of stale milk;
Of old men with long bags and false teeth;
Of poetics and politics;
Of hasty love letters
Scribbled on tissue paper.
The window was cracked and ugly
Flourescent street lights swayed.
The last man had left—
To brave the world again.
Perhaps it would rain.
Perhaps, it would not.
The empty platform echoed;
The last train just left.
A beggar, curled up on the bench
Dreamt of yesterday’s binge.
Amidst discarded polythene bags,
And cigarettes hurriedly stubbed out—
The smell of weary commuters
In yesterday’s clothes.
And noisy children hurried off to dirty toilets
By anxious impatient mothers.
Of waiting, and leaving
Of a weary silence and chaotic conversations.
The whistle could still be heard
Of journeys that would not happen.
Perhaps the tunnel would end.
Perhaps, it would not.
The room had darker corners,
And lighter moments.
The sheet was white and crumpled
From yesterday night.
It smelt of locked doors,
And of morning aftershave;
Of besmeared kohl
Beneath darker, stormier eyes.
Of high-heeled shoes
Kicked off on the floor;
Of forgotten dusty wine glasses,
And whispers in the dark.
The cigarette had died out.
The music had died down.
Perhaps she would live.
Perhaps, she would not.
Outside the blue-tinted glass.
Inside, the waiters gossiped
And haggled over tips.
The clatter of empty coffee cups
And the smell of stale milk;
Of old men with long bags and false teeth;
Of poetics and politics;
Of hasty love letters
Scribbled on tissue paper.
The window was cracked and ugly
Flourescent street lights swayed.
The last man had left—
To brave the world again.
Perhaps it would rain.
Perhaps, it would not.
The empty platform echoed;
The last train just left.
A beggar, curled up on the bench
Dreamt of yesterday’s binge.
Amidst discarded polythene bags,
And cigarettes hurriedly stubbed out—
The smell of weary commuters
In yesterday’s clothes.
And noisy children hurried off to dirty toilets
By anxious impatient mothers.
Of waiting, and leaving
Of a weary silence and chaotic conversations.
The whistle could still be heard
Of journeys that would not happen.
Perhaps the tunnel would end.
Perhaps, it would not.
The room had darker corners,
And lighter moments.
The sheet was white and crumpled
From yesterday night.
It smelt of locked doors,
And of morning aftershave;
Of besmeared kohl
Beneath darker, stormier eyes.
Of high-heeled shoes
Kicked off on the floor;
Of forgotten dusty wine glasses,
And whispers in the dark.
The cigarette had died out.
The music had died down.
Perhaps she would live.
Perhaps, she would not.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
happy new year, folks!
So here we are on the threshhold of yet another long tedious year! somehow alternate years have very miserable starts for me. there was 2002 which really began it all with the ICSE, and then 2004 with ISC and now Part I is getting blissfully closer and closer. somehow it seems nearer from 1st jan '06 rather than 31st Dec '05. and people say its just 24 hours. People just dont know a thing! Halp! What am i gonna do????? i have no notes, i do su-doku in honours classes, i consider myself above attending most eco classes, and i sleep in FS. Doomed future to be sure!
So i had a very ho-hum new year celebration yesterday...some family friends where I was the only kid.but there's always an upside and in this case there was some amazing wine that i had. Sparkling wine straight from the vineyards of Italy. Mmmm...! what do you call it? Peg?Nah, too crude..quarts, pints? i'll settle for measure-3 measures of wine. awesome! then something struck our boring heads and we decided to go for a drive at 12 o' clock sround the city. stupid us! the going was fine, but coming back was hell! abominable traffic at 2:30 a.m. in Juhu. it was a nightmare. Looks like everybody got a brainstorm at the same time!
You know, i was reflecting yesterday, why i keep declaring my love for Calcutta and cribbing about Bombay when i should have some minimal loyalties to this place. Attachment to any place is not too different from attachment to people. its really all about a moment. Moments with a place, moments when you are romancing a city. I remember when the 4 of us (N, P, T and me) had gone for an impromptu drive in not so stable state of mind, towards the 2nd hoogly bridge. i'm not kidding, but at that moment (though i wouldnt know if it was the drink or me, though i think it was more me!) i felt this incredible bonding with Calcutta, with its crowds, its filth, its warmth and everything. it was a moment, a feeling of extreme connectedness, a feeling of standing on your roots. i wonder why i havent felt any such moment with Bombay. maybe i havent tried hard enough. and maybe thats my loss.
But i know i belong to Calcutta, no matter where i am in the world. and i also know that i'm 'furiously proud' of that fact!
So there we were in the car yesterday, stuck in indescribable traffic, trying to pretend that we were in our beds and not in the middle of the sea of humanity, and there was Kaku with his incorridgible sense of humour and endless stock of PJs (which i still laugh at!). you know, the old 'how do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? jokes! and all of us were laughing at it even though we had heard it for like the millionth time. Dad thinks it was the wine. i think it was the company. And the attitude for once to take things easy. Not to be critical. Not listen to jokes to point out its flaws. Or to keep a straight face to prove how uttterly non-funny it was! No, for once we were all being us. without covers. without the unlinching desire to be above everyone else by trampling on all others! it was strange. though it shouldnt have been.
so thats that. bombay chapter 2005 is done. i dont know when i'll be coming next. im a lil sad, coz i know i have to get working in calcutta and not get to sleep in late and all that but oh well.
this is also the last of blogging in a long time as i wont have net access in Cal unless i do something about it. and knowing me....!
oh yeah, tanaji came over today, he found my place on his own! hope he didnt get bored!!!
so anyway, happy new year folks! see u sometime next year in blogland! otherwise college
is there for the ultimate bonding! okbye!
So i had a very ho-hum new year celebration yesterday...some family friends where I was the only kid.but there's always an upside and in this case there was some amazing wine that i had. Sparkling wine straight from the vineyards of Italy. Mmmm...! what do you call it? Peg?Nah, too crude..quarts, pints? i'll settle for measure-3 measures of wine. awesome! then something struck our boring heads and we decided to go for a drive at 12 o' clock sround the city. stupid us! the going was fine, but coming back was hell! abominable traffic at 2:30 a.m. in Juhu. it was a nightmare. Looks like everybody got a brainstorm at the same time!
You know, i was reflecting yesterday, why i keep declaring my love for Calcutta and cribbing about Bombay when i should have some minimal loyalties to this place. Attachment to any place is not too different from attachment to people. its really all about a moment. Moments with a place, moments when you are romancing a city. I remember when the 4 of us (N, P, T and me) had gone for an impromptu drive in not so stable state of mind, towards the 2nd hoogly bridge. i'm not kidding, but at that moment (though i wouldnt know if it was the drink or me, though i think it was more me!) i felt this incredible bonding with Calcutta, with its crowds, its filth, its warmth and everything. it was a moment, a feeling of extreme connectedness, a feeling of standing on your roots. i wonder why i havent felt any such moment with Bombay. maybe i havent tried hard enough. and maybe thats my loss.
But i know i belong to Calcutta, no matter where i am in the world. and i also know that i'm 'furiously proud' of that fact!
So there we were in the car yesterday, stuck in indescribable traffic, trying to pretend that we were in our beds and not in the middle of the sea of humanity, and there was Kaku with his incorridgible sense of humour and endless stock of PJs (which i still laugh at!). you know, the old 'how do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? jokes! and all of us were laughing at it even though we had heard it for like the millionth time. Dad thinks it was the wine. i think it was the company. And the attitude for once to take things easy. Not to be critical. Not listen to jokes to point out its flaws. Or to keep a straight face to prove how uttterly non-funny it was! No, for once we were all being us. without covers. without the unlinching desire to be above everyone else by trampling on all others! it was strange. though it shouldnt have been.
so thats that. bombay chapter 2005 is done. i dont know when i'll be coming next. im a lil sad, coz i know i have to get working in calcutta and not get to sleep in late and all that but oh well.
this is also the last of blogging in a long time as i wont have net access in Cal unless i do something about it. and knowing me....!
oh yeah, tanaji came over today, he found my place on his own! hope he didnt get bored!!!
so anyway, happy new year folks! see u sometime next year in blogland! otherwise college
is there for the ultimate bonding! okbye!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
LIVEWIRE!!
WOW! wow, oh wow!i had the most fuckin awesome time, it was so so so fantastic!today was the last day of Mood I, and naturally they saved the best for the last!and boy, did they!
tonight was the famous Rock-Nite-'an evening dedicated to pure unadulterated music' as they put it. now i am not the biggest rock music fan in the world, as most people will gladly tell you...but tonight just surpassed everything. it was like u could feel the music creeping up your bloodstream like some sort of strong intoxication, i swear i am not kidding or trying to be dramatic. you could live every beat, feel every note, it was simply out of the world. three bands played one after the other-HFD, Sceptre and Vayu which was the most rocking of all, especially their rendition of Comfortably Numb, it was a piece of heaven. towards the end everybody was just swaying away like under dope (though i wouldnt put it past the fact that some were actually doped!).
well so it sort of got me thinking you know, the amount of influence music has over us. you just needed to see the scene today. it was like mass hypnotism. it was mass hypnotism. everyone went crazy...you couldnt feel any thing else except that u wanted more and more of this. those musicians must be feeling like God when they perform on stage to a crowd like this. its probably a very addictive feeling itself-seeing a thousand people looking up at you, waving madly, headbanging their heads off!
i came home at 12, still quite under the spell. what a simply awesome evening. WOW, wow wow!
on a lighter note, i did get to 'see the sights' today..but alas! nothing worth reporting, except that the hostels really nice, they have a net connection in every room and a balcony!!!! and oh yeah, guess what-i actualyy used the boys loo coz there wasnt an alternative. i think i might have scandalized a few poor souls though!
well so Mood I is over, and so is IIT-B chapter for this year! it was a real good closing to the year. its such a great place to study, really! oh well, no use depressing myself over this further!
only 3 more days left for the year to end--time sure flies!
PS: does college open on 3rd? is it time already? :-(
tonight was the famous Rock-Nite-'an evening dedicated to pure unadulterated music' as they put it. now i am not the biggest rock music fan in the world, as most people will gladly tell you...but tonight just surpassed everything. it was like u could feel the music creeping up your bloodstream like some sort of strong intoxication, i swear i am not kidding or trying to be dramatic. you could live every beat, feel every note, it was simply out of the world. three bands played one after the other-HFD, Sceptre and Vayu which was the most rocking of all, especially their rendition of Comfortably Numb, it was a piece of heaven. towards the end everybody was just swaying away like under dope (though i wouldnt put it past the fact that some were actually doped!).
well so it sort of got me thinking you know, the amount of influence music has over us. you just needed to see the scene today. it was like mass hypnotism. it was mass hypnotism. everyone went crazy...you couldnt feel any thing else except that u wanted more and more of this. those musicians must be feeling like God when they perform on stage to a crowd like this. its probably a very addictive feeling itself-seeing a thousand people looking up at you, waving madly, headbanging their heads off!
i came home at 12, still quite under the spell. what a simply awesome evening. WOW, wow wow!
on a lighter note, i did get to 'see the sights' today..but alas! nothing worth reporting, except that the hostels really nice, they have a net connection in every room and a balcony!!!! and oh yeah, guess what-i actualyy used the boys loo coz there wasnt an alternative. i think i might have scandalized a few poor souls though!
well so Mood I is over, and so is IIT-B chapter for this year! it was a real good closing to the year. its such a great place to study, really! oh well, no use depressing myself over this further!
only 3 more days left for the year to end--time sure flies!
PS: does college open on 3rd? is it time already? :-(
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
MOOD I MAD!
Do u know it takes a bloody 2 hours to reach that stupid place, through non-existent roads, unending traffic jams, and automobiles that keep blowing toxic stuff outta their asses at your precious(and only) lungs every 20 seconds? by the time i reached IIT-B today, i was ready to go back home and i would have except for the fact that i would have to make that abominable journey all over again! i was rather proud of myself in the morning for deciding to go by public transport and all, real smart of me and all that! all that enthu is now cleanly flushed out of my system. thank god for the window seat without which life would have been hell!
so anyway, after a lot of waiting, and some painful crawling by the BEST bus, i reached my destination-the IITB Main Gate.now the campus is huge (sigh!when i think of my own 2/2...)and there are 3 gates, Market, Main and Lake Gate.but thanks to the fact that i used to tag along with my mom sometimes when she did her research here almost 8 years back, i can navigate myself around...er...somewhat. i had to stop for directions twice, but thats not my fault, these IIT snobs abbreviate everything...how the hell am i supposed to figure out their vocabulary, which is not even remotely english!
to cut a long story shot, i managed to find what i was looking for, the film fest being held at SOM (school of management), which was in one word-enriching!considering that i had to while away a good 2 hours on my own, this was a blessing. most of the films were simply superb...the dormant filmaker has risen again!!!
my guide(who is also my friend!)showed me around the campus which is just so so great! i said the same thing in KGP, as i say now..its a place worth all the slogging that u do to get in. its a kind of place that inspires genius!i keep wishing i had even a degree interest in great things like engineering. but woe alas!
anyway, my 2 friends (both furiously proud IITians themselves) insisted on introducing me to other furiously proud IITians as 'our friend from Calcutta who studies Literature' after which they all proceeded to stare at me in wonder and shake their heads as if such things were beyond mortal comprehensibility. one even went as fars so as to ask me-'English?' To which i responded with one of my coldest (and scariest) glares, as if such questions were below answering(which it was! i mean get a life, and look beyond those four walls!)
but all said and done, its still a great enviable place to study, live and spend 4 years of your life in. really, unfortunately, howmuchever one might deny IITs snob value or exclusivity, the truth remains that that blasted place is every inch as great as it claims to be. oh well!
on a lighter note, my friend offered to show me his hostel, warning me nevertheless that loads of topless men, men in various stages of undress and men in their most natural habitat pretending to be nothing else but the animals that they are, might greet my eyes!so naturally, yours truly got truly excited, but was however disappointed when her same friend could not find his ID card. (IDs are not otherwise necessary, but must be shown when admitting a female guest inside the hostel!!)though he has promised to 'show the sights' on thursday when i'll be going again. oh goody!
so that was that. meat a lot of old school friends, some IITians, some not. some pretending to be extremely busy all day, thankfully,since that avoided unwanted conversation, some having all the time in the world.was a good day in all...am so caught up in the hangover, wish i had a campus like this, man!
on another note, have resolved to participate fully in Xavotsav next year! totally inspired by these nerds running around and looking important! must be something to it that i missed! will find out next year.
so anyway, after a lot of waiting, and some painful crawling by the BEST bus, i reached my destination-the IITB Main Gate.now the campus is huge (sigh!when i think of my own 2/2...)and there are 3 gates, Market, Main and Lake Gate.but thanks to the fact that i used to tag along with my mom sometimes when she did her research here almost 8 years back, i can navigate myself around...er...somewhat. i had to stop for directions twice, but thats not my fault, these IIT snobs abbreviate everything...how the hell am i supposed to figure out their vocabulary, which is not even remotely english!
to cut a long story shot, i managed to find what i was looking for, the film fest being held at SOM (school of management), which was in one word-enriching!considering that i had to while away a good 2 hours on my own, this was a blessing. most of the films were simply superb...the dormant filmaker has risen again!!!
my guide(who is also my friend!)showed me around the campus which is just so so great! i said the same thing in KGP, as i say now..its a place worth all the slogging that u do to get in. its a kind of place that inspires genius!i keep wishing i had even a degree interest in great things like engineering. but woe alas!
anyway, my 2 friends (both furiously proud IITians themselves) insisted on introducing me to other furiously proud IITians as 'our friend from Calcutta who studies Literature' after which they all proceeded to stare at me in wonder and shake their heads as if such things were beyond mortal comprehensibility. one even went as fars so as to ask me-'English?' To which i responded with one of my coldest (and scariest) glares, as if such questions were below answering(which it was! i mean get a life, and look beyond those four walls!)
but all said and done, its still a great enviable place to study, live and spend 4 years of your life in. really, unfortunately, howmuchever one might deny IITs snob value or exclusivity, the truth remains that that blasted place is every inch as great as it claims to be. oh well!
on a lighter note, my friend offered to show me his hostel, warning me nevertheless that loads of topless men, men in various stages of undress and men in their most natural habitat pretending to be nothing else but the animals that they are, might greet my eyes!so naturally, yours truly got truly excited, but was however disappointed when her same friend could not find his ID card. (IDs are not otherwise necessary, but must be shown when admitting a female guest inside the hostel!!)though he has promised to 'show the sights' on thursday when i'll be going again. oh goody!
so that was that. meat a lot of old school friends, some IITians, some not. some pretending to be extremely busy all day, thankfully,since that avoided unwanted conversation, some having all the time in the world.was a good day in all...am so caught up in the hangover, wish i had a campus like this, man!
on another note, have resolved to participate fully in Xavotsav next year! totally inspired by these nerds running around and looking important! must be something to it that i missed! will find out next year.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
B-OM-BAY!
well well well....i'm finally here! technically incorrect, coz i got here on the 22nd, but leaving out all the settling in days, jetlags, et al...heh heh! eaten out 5 times already...my parents simply spoil me...but whoz complaining? and i have'nt called anyone i'm supposed to call, met anyone i'm supposed to meet, been just sitting around n dreaming away and wasting away...what a life!! i love it!
this year...no new year party for me. honestly im sick of the whole routine. low lights, people gyratin away to noise that is barely music, greeting ppl they bitch abt regularlt like good ol bumchums....i hate double standards.and anyway probably all just boils down to sour grapes coz i cant dance and cant stand crowds. so this time its all about time with le famille...and maybe convincing dad to open that bottle of wine he got last july!goody!maybe mom n i could both cook up something....actually its really not a bad idea! the folks are all ok really!and u do tend to miss them after a while :)
anyway, so i'll be going to Mood I tomorrow. for the unenlightened its the IIT Bombay Fest-Mood Indigo, and its suppa rokkin! hell, do u knw their budget? a freakin 45 lakhs!!!its madness! but oh well, its supposed to be totally good n all that...so i'll be going. and woe betide anyone who dares smirk at my own college-lousy though it might be!i can cook up amazing stories! no sirreee!
so thats it on this front. whenever i'm in bombay(or any other place) i keep unconsciously comparing with Cal. and u knw what, Cal always wins!! i just love calcutta!
sorry...got carried away!
merry belated christmas, all!
this year...no new year party for me. honestly im sick of the whole routine. low lights, people gyratin away to noise that is barely music, greeting ppl they bitch abt regularlt like good ol bumchums....i hate double standards.and anyway probably all just boils down to sour grapes coz i cant dance and cant stand crowds. so this time its all about time with le famille...and maybe convincing dad to open that bottle of wine he got last july!goody!maybe mom n i could both cook up something....actually its really not a bad idea! the folks are all ok really!and u do tend to miss them after a while :)
anyway, so i'll be going to Mood I tomorrow. for the unenlightened its the IIT Bombay Fest-Mood Indigo, and its suppa rokkin! hell, do u knw their budget? a freakin 45 lakhs!!!its madness! but oh well, its supposed to be totally good n all that...so i'll be going. and woe betide anyone who dares smirk at my own college-lousy though it might be!i can cook up amazing stories! no sirreee!
so thats it on this front. whenever i'm in bombay(or any other place) i keep unconsciously comparing with Cal. and u knw what, Cal always wins!! i just love calcutta!
sorry...got carried away!
merry belated christmas, all!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Nothing really...!
Do you think i use the word 'really' too much?Really? Its a nice word actually. I like words that have the letter 'l' in them. they roll of your tongue very smoothly.One of my favourite words is 'warble'.U knw, as in, she has a warbling voice.Sounds beautiful.
My friends and i were listening to music most of the time today. Sometimes him n her. Sometimes her n him. Sometimes her n her. Sometimes just her. Sometimes just him. Nobody was left out.
I love the song 'coffee house'. Sometimes when i'm listening to it alone, i even cry a little.Ok, so that sounds sappy.But i cant help it.Things like that move me.I am a sentimentalist i guess.Paul McCartney said: "Whats wrong in being sentimental?Being sentimental just means that you like stuff."I'm not kidding. he really said that!Check out Readers Digest Dec issue.I got it just today.
So where was I? Yes, coffee house.I love that song.Actually it reminds me a lot of what calcutta stands for. Or used to stand for.I dont know. But i wish that kinda stuff would happen to me.
Have u been to coffee house? Chances are, no.Well i have-but i'm not goin to rant about how great a place it is. Coz its not.All it has probably is its history...the past. It did not inspire poetry in me.I just went there, had a cold coffee(with cream) and a sandwich or something. It was very crowded though.And smelled of a lot of people.Sweat.Heat.Dust.Cigarette.Cigarette.Cigarette...And old books. College Street. Presidency College.Very faint...that was. Somewhere among the cracked, soiled tables...the dirty floors, the stale air...lurked the spirits of young men and women eagerly discussing their views on literature, politics, sports. Great thinkers. Thoughts they thought would change the world.
Only the world never changed. But the thinkers did. And so did the thoughts.
Nowadays people believe in being anti-idealist anti-intellectualist (is that even a word?) Perhaps thats the more realistic thing to be.And i'm not any different-i would choose CCD over Coffee House anyday i think, no matter what i'm trying to prove with this post.(actually i'm not trying to prove anything).
Its just that song then..."coffee house-er shei addata aaj aar nei, aaj aar nei..."
Listen to it sometimes if you have'nt. And if u have, listen to it again.Wont change your views, that song.
But listen to it anyway. Its a great song.
My friends and i were listening to music most of the time today. Sometimes him n her. Sometimes her n him. Sometimes her n her. Sometimes just her. Sometimes just him. Nobody was left out.
I love the song 'coffee house'. Sometimes when i'm listening to it alone, i even cry a little.Ok, so that sounds sappy.But i cant help it.Things like that move me.I am a sentimentalist i guess.Paul McCartney said: "Whats wrong in being sentimental?Being sentimental just means that you like stuff."I'm not kidding. he really said that!Check out Readers Digest Dec issue.I got it just today.
So where was I? Yes, coffee house.I love that song.Actually it reminds me a lot of what calcutta stands for. Or used to stand for.I dont know. But i wish that kinda stuff would happen to me.
Have u been to coffee house? Chances are, no.Well i have-but i'm not goin to rant about how great a place it is. Coz its not.All it has probably is its history...the past. It did not inspire poetry in me.I just went there, had a cold coffee(with cream) and a sandwich or something. It was very crowded though.And smelled of a lot of people.Sweat.Heat.Dust.Cigarette.Cigarette.Cigarette...And old books. College Street. Presidency College.Very faint...that was. Somewhere among the cracked, soiled tables...the dirty floors, the stale air...lurked the spirits of young men and women eagerly discussing their views on literature, politics, sports. Great thinkers. Thoughts they thought would change the world.
Only the world never changed. But the thinkers did. And so did the thoughts.
Nowadays people believe in being anti-idealist anti-intellectualist (is that even a word?) Perhaps thats the more realistic thing to be.And i'm not any different-i would choose CCD over Coffee House anyday i think, no matter what i'm trying to prove with this post.(actually i'm not trying to prove anything).
Its just that song then..."coffee house-er shei addata aaj aar nei, aaj aar nei..."
Listen to it sometimes if you have'nt. And if u have, listen to it again.Wont change your views, that song.
But listen to it anyway. Its a great song.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Whataiva!
Today was such a waste....i mean a total total waste! but oh yes, dirty berie's class was simply great. i dont mean to sound like a loser describing classes...but seriously, u just gotta attend one of those classes. u know its the time when he's not trying to be particularly nasty for a change. he's really good....totally lowe him then!
oh well, saw a particularly uninteresting film today...but then i'm sure it must've appealed to...ahem...others!like it says above-whataiva!
i'm trying to save money of late...well not exactly money, just a few stray loose change which is all i'm left with. you know, money is really important, no matter how materialistic that sounds. i need to start earning fast...some of my friends are already towards their first million...n i'm really not kidding!
cant wait till its the 22nd...am going to bombay (yeah!yeah!). not very great or anything, but i've been really missing the place, n kinda feel like i want to get away right now. plus i also miss being spoilt by my parents for a change( they do that a lot now that they dont have to see me everyday!)
btw, im listening to great music.....thanks shorty!
gotta go now, im bored!
oh well, saw a particularly uninteresting film today...but then i'm sure it must've appealed to...ahem...others!like it says above-whataiva!
i'm trying to save money of late...well not exactly money, just a few stray loose change which is all i'm left with. you know, money is really important, no matter how materialistic that sounds. i need to start earning fast...some of my friends are already towards their first million...n i'm really not kidding!
cant wait till its the 22nd...am going to bombay (yeah!yeah!). not very great or anything, but i've been really missing the place, n kinda feel like i want to get away right now. plus i also miss being spoilt by my parents for a change( they do that a lot now that they dont have to see me everyday!)
btw, im listening to great music.....thanks shorty!
gotta go now, im bored!
Monday, December 12, 2005
All about Moi...
Well well...the blogging bug catches fast....
I have another blog anyway but thats only meant for 'literary masterpieces' which also happen to be non-existent! this one is for day to day gibberish, totally at the mercy of the computer which loves to sit down and die when it's bored!
i dont know what else i'm supposed to say coz i usually dont have much to say...gawd knows what i was thinkin-opening yet another blog.this was just an intro or something of that sort.
anyway, if ure wondering about the name 'pocahontas'--well i've been told by loony (u must have met!) that i resemble her...and i knw she'll comment "boast korbi na"! but oh well, i like the idea myself...she's really cool (pocahontas-not loony!).
sorry loony.....ure cool too, v cool!
so going back to the title...i couldnt think of anything else. anyway, i dont even knw why i'm on a justifying trip.
will post later...indian idol on in a few minutes.
I have another blog anyway but thats only meant for 'literary masterpieces' which also happen to be non-existent! this one is for day to day gibberish, totally at the mercy of the computer which loves to sit down and die when it's bored!
i dont know what else i'm supposed to say coz i usually dont have much to say...gawd knows what i was thinkin-opening yet another blog.this was just an intro or something of that sort.
anyway, if ure wondering about the name 'pocahontas'--well i've been told by loony (u must have met!) that i resemble her...and i knw she'll comment "boast korbi na"! but oh well, i like the idea myself...she's really cool (pocahontas-not loony!).
sorry loony.....ure cool too, v cool!
so going back to the title...i couldnt think of anything else. anyway, i dont even knw why i'm on a justifying trip.
will post later...indian idol on in a few minutes.
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